Dear Leah and Ben,
As I write this,
we are just a few hours away from meeting for Ben’s birthday dinner. I cannot believe that it was 18 years ago
that I gave birth to my beautiful boy.
You both have made me so proud.
I always knew that
I wanted to be a mother, but neither one of you were planned out in advance. I
suppose that set the tone for our life together; that spontaneous events are
usually the most memorable. What I did
plan for though, was for you both to know that you are always loved, and that
you would know that no matter what the problem or situation, you could come to
me. I hope that I have lived up to that goal, and that you have never been
afraid to confide in me. Of course I know that I have sometimes fallen short, that
I have made mistakes, and I have sometimes let you down. But I have also strived to look you in the
eyes and say “I’m sorry”, and mean it.
I hope that by my
example you know that standing up and admitting your mistakes is not a sign of
weakness, but shows great strength of character.
I know that
because I was so busy working and going to school while you were both younger
that I didn’t always have the time to just “be” with you as much as we might
have wanted. I hope that you both will
be able to finish your educational goals before having children of your own so
that you don’t have to divide your time as I had to do. But I also hope you know that whatever path
you choose, you are capable, strong and that you will succeed as long as you
continue to believe in yourselves.
I hope that my
love of adventure, of discovery and of learning inspires you to always live
your lives fully, and not get too bogged down by the day-to-day struggles that
are sometimes part of the deal. I hope
that you always keep dreaming big, and know that you are in charge of your own destiny.
I may not have known at the beginning that I would be flying solo in my journey
as a parent, but I hope that I was able to show you that you only need depend
on yourself… you CAN do great things. And
if you find yourself traveling down a road that you wish you were not on,
remember that it is NEVER too late to turn around, or blaze a new trail. Right
now is where you begin, right now is where you always are.
Admittedly, I’ve
been an unconventional mother. But you
are exceptional souls, and that is what you required. And although at 18 and 22 you are both
technically adults, I hope you remember to give yourself room to grow, because
you are far from finished. I have taught
you that you are not limited by what society says you need to be, because you
are you, and the truth is that you are nothing short of the eternal divine love
of this universe, put into a body to experience this wondrous adventure of your
life.
I look forward to
the rest of our lives together, full of adventures, conversations, laughter and
tears. I look forward to meeting the
people you become, meeting the person I become.
All my love,
Mom
April 18, 2025
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