Wednesday, September 9, 2015

My "Future" Child

I had an assignment for my Psych class (Human Development) to write a letter to a future child (or actual one, if applicable) on the event of their 18th birthday.  It needed to include a few requirements, parental goals, hopes for the child, obstacles, etc.  The assignment really touched me, so I am sharing my letter here, to keep for future reference.

Dear Leah and Ben,

As I write this, we are just a few hours away from meeting for Ben’s birthday dinner.  I cannot believe that it was 18 years ago that I gave birth to my beautiful boy.  You both have made me so proud. 

I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, but neither one of you were planned out in advance. I suppose that set the tone for our life together; that spontaneous events are usually the most memorable.  What I did plan for though, was for you both to know that you are always loved, and that you would know that no matter what the problem or situation, you could come to me. I hope that I have lived up to that goal, and that you have never been afraid to confide in me. Of course I know that I have sometimes fallen short, that I have made mistakes, and I have sometimes let you down.  But I have also strived to look you in the eyes and say “I’m sorry”, and mean it.  I hope that by my example you know that standing up and admitting your mistakes is not a sign of weakness, but shows great strength of character.

I know that because I was so busy working and going to school while you were both younger that I didn’t always have the time to just “be” with you as much as we might have wanted.  I hope that you both will be able to finish your educational goals before having children of your own so that you don’t have to divide your time as I had to do.  But I also hope you know that whatever path you choose, you are capable, strong and that you will succeed as long as you continue to believe in yourselves. 

I hope that my love of adventure, of discovery and of learning inspires you to always live your lives fully, and not get too bogged down by the day-to-day struggles that are sometimes part of the deal.  I hope that you always keep dreaming big, and know that you are in charge of your own destiny. I may not have known at the beginning that I would be flying solo in my journey as a parent, but I hope that I was able to show you that you only need depend on yourself… you CAN do great things.  And if you find yourself traveling down a road that you wish you were not on, remember that it is NEVER too late to turn around, or blaze a new trail. Right now is where you begin, right now is where you always are. 

Admittedly, I’ve been an unconventional mother.  But you are exceptional souls, and that is what you required.  And although at 18 and 22 you are both technically adults, I hope you remember to give yourself room to grow, because you are far from finished.  I have taught you that you are not limited by what society says you need to be, because you are you, and the truth is that you are nothing short of the eternal divine love of this universe, put into a body to experience this wondrous adventure of your life. 

I look forward to the rest of our lives together, full of adventures, conversations, laughter and tears.  I look forward to meeting the people you become, meeting the person I become. 
All my love,
Mom
April 18, 2025




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